MF 156 : Sean Wyman on Taking the First Steps to Let Go of Trauma and Move Forward
Sean Wyman is an author, speaker, and coach who works with trauma victims to find their big why. Today, Sean will share how you can start letting go of past pain so you can move forward.
Successes at a glance:
Law enforcement officer with the Tallahassee Police Department.
Served as an Army ranger.
Trauma recovery specialist.
Best-selling author of Let Go: The Movement Process.
Sean isn’t simply someone who talks about trauma and trauma recovery. He’s experienced it first hand. Sean’s natural father left shortly after he was born. From the age of 7-10, he experienced severe mental and physical abuse from his step-father, a drug dealer in Washington, DC. Sean was also bullied in school, later becoming a bully himself. Then, one day, Sean’s step-father beat him so severely, that he couldn’t move for a week. Sean planned to kill his step-father. Thankfully, Sean didn’t go thru with it but he was in a dark place, feeling no hope. From age 10-17, Sean entered into several foster homes. Throughout this time, Sean adopted bad coping mechanisms, turning to drugs and alcohol. Later, Sean went into the military and suffered a near-death experience. Sean later got married to his first wife which ended in divorce and put him $100k in debt. Sean explains this was his trauma building upon itself during his formative years. Sean never dealt with his childhood trauma and it kept manifesting itself throughout his life. At one point, Sean decided it was time for a change. At first, Sean tried to “rewrite” his story by simply making up his past when telling it to others. When that didn’t work, Sean realized it was time to deal with the pain he had been carrying his whole life. Sean underwent a 10-year journey, facing and dealing with his trauma, forgiving the people in his past while holding himself accountable for his own actions. This was when Sean was able to start letting go of the pain, hatred, self-doubt, and intimidation that held him like a vice grip for so many years. Sean went into law enforcement, where he regularly sees people in pain, suffering the kind of traumas that he experienced in his life. Sean’s devotion to people and his desire to help others start the healing process led him to discover his big why.
Sean’s big why:
Sean’s big why is that he wants to serve and help people that experienced difficult childhood experiences and never dealt with them. Sean does this by sharing his story and the process that helped him heal. Make no mistake, the trauma that Sean experienced didn’t completely go away. He faces it in some form, each and every day. But the heating process that Sean went thru helps him manage the trauma. Moreover, sharing his story has become a source of strength to help others move forward.
Biggest challenge today:
As a law enforcement officer, Sean faces trauma every day. Sean’s daily challenge is understanding where he came from so he can understand where the other person is coming from. This is not easy when that other person is hostile, even violent because they have not dealt with their past traumas.
Moving forward past that challenge:
Sean faces this challenge daily thru conditioning and discipline. Sean has vastly improved his ability to not to take it personally when someone yells at him in a tense situation. He worked with James McNeal, a communications trainer based in Canada. Sean learned the skills to help him make someone feel safe, heard, and acknowledged. Today, when faced with a tense or hostile situation, Sean gives that person permission to be angry and responds with empathy. From there, Sean is able to help them with their coping mechanisms, helping them find a more positive outlet. One tip that Sean shares, “striking the right cord” by asking at the outset, “is it ok if I communicate with your honestly, openly, respectfully and directly.”
Message to the one person who is stuck in a cycle of trauma:
Sean shares that it’s ok to be angry, hurt, frustrated, upset. What’s not ok is not to deal with it because that sets you up for failure.
One tip for moving forward in 2018:
Something that helped Sean during his darkest moment was this Bible scripture, Colossians 3:12-13 which talks about patience and forgiveness. Drop the grudges and chips on your shoulder. Otherwise, you can’t move forward.
How is Sean moving forward today:
Every day, Sean focuses on having a good, positive mindset based on his unwavering faith in God.
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Who is Sean in five years?:
Sean will be a well-known trauma recovery speaker who speaks around the world to non-profit organizations, religious organizations, and at-risk youth organizations. The Movement Process will be a well-known process that is used on a regular basis in all types of facilities prior to medication or psychotherapy.
“No matter what you’ve gone thru, there’s a reason you went thru it. Even though you may not see it now or you may want to have an understanding but you don’t, sometimes things aren’t meant to be understood in our timing but they are in God’s. So we have to learn how to be patient and wait for the answers to come in God’s timing and not in ours because sometimes we’re not prepared for the answers that we may receive. But if you stay true to who are you and you’re willing to take an honest look at yourself, whether it’s thru me or someone you know, like and trust that you can share what you’ve gone thru and start to heal from whatever it is that you’ve dealt with. You can let go of that trauma. I don’t care how bad it is. I truly believe that if you really, truly want to let it go, you can let it go and not only let it go, but you can completely step away from it and you can move forward into the life that you were truly meant to have; the one that God created for you before you were ever born.”