MF 121 : Breaking Old Patterns and Moving Forward into Alignment, with Tara Baldwin
Successes at a glance:
Founder, Believe Life Coaching
Certified life coach
Trained by Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Dr. Joe Dispenza
Worked for Tony Robbins for 5 years
Speaker, teacher (certified coaching programs)
Creator of ‘Rise Sessions’ – 2017 personal growth program
10 wk group coaching sessions
Setback failure or time when things fell apart:
For Tara, there was a time when, on the outside, she appeared very successful. During this period, Tara was working for Tony Robbins and at the peak of her coaching career. Tara had 97 clients, was in a relationship and living in a beauty home. On the surface, Tara had it all. The problem was on the inside: her body was telling her that she was burning out. The problem worsened as that she refused to listen and over time, the stress and anxiety took its toll, making her sick. The worst came when Tara ended up in the hospital w/ tubes down her throat. Looking back, Tara reflects that she was being more “reactive” than “proactive;” putting other people’s priorities and needs ahead of hers. At the heart of it, Tara was saying “yes” too much. She was giving, as is her nature, but she wasn’t receiving; she wasn’t prioritizing herself. What drove Tara to say yes at the expense of her own health? Tara shares that behind her saying yes too much was an insecurity that stemmed from childhood. Tara had grown up surrounded by limiting messages about what was or was not possible in life. In her mind, she knew that working w/ 15 clients in a meaningful and impactful way would be more beneficial than working w/ 97 clients and spreading herself too thin. But this lingering voice inside of her head made her doubt whether she could be as successful or survive if she said no. Thus, she said yes to everything which came at a high cost.
The “aha” moment that sparked a pivot:
Tara has been a lifelong student of what she calls her “stuff,” trying to better herself. Her regimen included listening to libraries of tapes and soaking up as much as she could from personal growth coaches like Tony Robbins, for whom Tara ended up working for 5 years, before branching out into her own life coach practice. At the core of it, Tara’s motivation has been to “break family patterns.” While many family legacies are ones we proudly carry on into the future, sometimes those legacies include pain and heartache. Tara made the decision not to carry forward that particular legacy.
Over time, Tara made the change in her life and that’s when the “aha” moment hit that she could use her experiences of making those changes and help others make similar breakthroughs.
A key revelation that Tara shares on this episode is that many of our decisions and mistakes are borne out of family patterns. Tara highlights a big example: lack of money. Tara explains that many people who grow up in poverty never escape it, in part because they are stuck in a pattern where lack of money is a constant, non-negotiable reality that is permanent. If that is your environment from a young age, it conditions a belief system which becomes more and more ingrained as we get older. This belief system may cause you to stay in dead-end jobs or never seek better opportunities bc you have it programmed into you that lack of money is permanent w/ no hope for change.
Tara fleshes this out further. Citing Tony Robbins, she shares that we all have certain basic needs: be it love, connection, significance, etc. That’s common to all of us. To meet these needs, we employ “vehicles,” some which are very empowering (e.g. yoga) and some which are very disempowering (e.g. joining a gang). The key to breaking old patterns is not resisting the need, as they are inherent and essential to all of us, but altering the vehicle to achieve those needs. Further, Tara shares that new science and technology enable us to rewire our brains to further break old, disempowering patterns.
The final pattern break came at the hospital. As discussed above, Tara still had some lingering doubts about whether she could be successful working w/ fewer clients. She had fallen into a pattern of saying “yes” too often, at the expense of her own health. While in the hospital w/ a tube down her throat, Tara had no choice but to spend time w/ herself. She reconnected with her inner voice, the one she had been all but ignoring; resulting her in being put into the hospital in the first place. Tara embraced being still and learned how to love herself first and fully.
Moving Forward listeners, what are you chasing? Are you saying yes too often? Many of us, myself included, have been guilty of this at one point or another. Usually, saying yes too often is the result of an insecurity in our own ability to be successful if we say no, even knowing deep down it’s for our own (and our clients’) benefit. Tara’s story reminds us that sometimes to move forward, we have to trust in inner compass to make decisions, even if that means saying no, that will benefit us spiritually, physically and in our careers and businesses.
Resource or cultural experience that inspired Tara to move forward:
Tara also recommends Oprah’s interview series w/ Eckhart Tolle on YouTube.
Other authors recommended by Tara:
Favorite app/website/resource or productivity hack:
Daily rituals: work the muscle of your brain. Change your energy / vibration, change your life!
Tara’s hack: record your aha moments, your affirmations on your phone and listen back to them while doing things like brushing your teeth or taking a shower. This a simple, time-efficient way can help set the right vibration by making you proactive rather than reactive in your day.
How Tara recharges when facing a roadblock or challenge:
Meditation, yoga, and deep breathing.
Take a nature walk.
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Advice to past self while going thru a difficult time:
Tara would tell her past self: love yourself first and make the connection w/ yourself the most important one for the day. Make time for and prioritize those daily check-ins to ensure you are aligned w/ your inner voice. Finally, be proactive rather than reactive. By taking care of yourself first, you will be able to better serve you, your business, and your clients.
Parting wisdom (in a few words):
“You create your experience.”