MF 093 : From Lost to Found and The Power of the “Clean No,” with Rachel Adams
Updated: Jun 17, 2022
Rachel Adams is a top realtor, public speaker, coach and author. Today, Rachel will share the power of clean “no” so you can be more authentic and intentional when you say “yes.”
Successes at a glance:
$50M sales projected for FY2016.
Ranked top 1% of all Realtors in Placer and Sacramento counties.
Named “Wall Street Journal’s Top 1000 Agents” in the United States.
Creator of Limited to Legendary online course for real estate professionals.
Founder, Rachel Adams-Inspire:
Co-creator of the ‘Lost to Found in 90 Days’ program.
How Rachel gets inspired to conquer the day:
For Rachel, it starts by looking at life as a series of unexpected opportunities and that includes the people she comes across. As Rachel shares, “I never know who I’m going to meet.” To that end, Rachel was inspired by a talk that Robert Herjavec gave, which inspired her to co-write ‘Lost to Found in 90 Days,’ to help people who have struggled in their own lives. This in turn, has allowed Rachel to find a purpose and her big why.
Setback or failure that led to pivot and shift (and some telltale signs you should look out for):
Rachel recalls that she was at the top of her game. She was a top realtor, having been named a top 1000 agent by the Wall Street Journal and as she describes it, she had the “perfect Facebook life.” However, what many did not know was that Rachel was suffering through a difficult marriage, that ended in divorce. In addition, Rachel was working so hard, she couldn’t even stay hydrated and was drinking coffee w/ Ibuprofen to combat the stress. Everything came to a head when she was asked to shoot a video promo on entrepreneurial and real estate success w/ famed life coach, Nina Rowan Heller.
Following this, Rachel decided it was time for a change. First, she went on a 90 day journey, giving up dating and drinking, her two biggest distractions. Instead of going out w/ her girlfriends for a cocktails, she stayed at home and drank tea. As Rachel shares, one good habit led to another: being home led to journaling as Rachel became ‘hyper aware” of who she was surrounding herself w/ an the conversations she was having. This caused Rachel to become more intentional about how she was spending her time and what she was putting in her body. This in turn led to a whole host of changes from: meditation to exercise to meal prepping. By going on this journey, Rachel sparked a sea of changes that helped her move forward. Rachel also discovered a purpose: she realized she could help others who may be stuck in their journey or suffering the price of putting on a “facebook perfect life;” hiding the pain that was underneath. Rachel partnered up w/ Nina and wrote, ‘Lost to Found in 90 Days’ and has created the ‘Lost to Found in 90 Days’ program, to help others break the cycles that are preventing them from making that important pivot and reaching their full potential.
Moving Forward listeners, are you living a “Facebook perfect life?” Are you putting others’ needs ahead of and to the detriment of your own? Are you hiding from the pain of a setback and chasing after the quick fix, be it a dating app, another job that isn’t quite what you want, or in food or alcohol? Rachel shares these important telltale signs to watch out for:
Are you saying yes to too much, overcommitting, in an attempt to please everyone? Often what happens is that we say “yes” to say many things and then find we neither have the time, energy or frankly, the sincere interest to follow-up thru so we cancel, ghost or flake out. This is what Rachel calls the “dirty yes” – a yes that really has no meaning or reliability behind it, but is simply part of the facade of looking “Facebook perfect.” To combat this, Rachel suggests the “clean no.” First, realize that every “yes” you give has an opportunity cost, meaning you are essentially saying “no” to something else; that’s just the physics of having only 24 hours in a day. So if you’re finding yourself giving a lot of reluctant yeses or canceling at the last minute or simply ghosting, then start saying “no” to things. Doing so will be empowering to you and will give the honest respect that the invitation (and the person who sent it) deserves.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by doing too much, Rachel shares a helpful self-image exercise. Sit down w/ a pen and paper, close your eyes (you can set some nice music in the background if you want) and picture where you want to be in five years. Be super specific: what happens when you wake up on a perfect work day. What time are you waking up? Do you wake up on your own or w/ an alarm? When you lean over, are you kissing your spouse? Do you have a spouse? Do your kids run in and wake you up? Do you have kids? When you get in the shower, how does that water feel on your skin? When you walk down the stairs, who greets you? What is the scene you see? Script out every detail you can on that perfect day. Once you have done that, open your eyes and write it out; explicitly and in as much detail as possible. Now comes the hard part: take a long look at yourself and come to terms w/ where you are right now and ask yourself, is everyone in my life conducive to the life I want to have in 5 years? From there, you may have some tough but ultimately, beneficial decisions to make.
Listeners, this is what moving forward is all about. Pivoting isn’t simply deciding to apply for another job or try a new dating app. Looking inward and digging deep at what is holding you back and where you want to go, is how we can break patterns and cycles that are holding us back. From there, we can shed habits and people that aren’t conducive to the life we want to lead and that is how we can start moving forward.
Resource or cultural experience that inspired Rachel to move forward:
A quote: “You are the average of the five people that you hang around.” –Jim Rohn
John Lee Dumas used to close his show, EOFire, with. Remember, Moving Forward listeners, when you are living in the right space, the right frame of mind, success and the right people will come into your life.
How Rachel stays organized and manages her time:
One of the ways that Rachel’s manages her busy schedule is to delegate tasks to talented people around her. This is important as Rachel owns and runs four companies! You can learn more about Rachel’s time block technique in her book,‘Lost to Found in 90 Days’ (Paperback | Kindle), which has a chapter on planning and implementing within your day.
As a time audit, write down or record everything you do over a two day period. How much time do you spend creating or browsing Facebook or watching cat videos on YouTube? Record this very specifically, in 15 minute increments if you can. This will give you a true picture of how efficient or inefficient you are w/ your time. From there, circle the activities that are money or revenue-generating activities and look at which ones you can outsource or delegate to someone else. Investing a few dollars (and remember, a lot of our guests have suggested, Fiverr or Upwork) to have someone take an activity that isn’t the best use of your time, will free up yours so you can put it towards better uses, be it a revenue-generating activity or more quality time w/ a family or a significant other.
Set clear time boundaries. Remember, you don’t always have to answer than text or email at 11 pm. Unless it’s an emergency, the world will not end if we respond the next morning. Set the boundary and the expectation that there are certain times when you will be offline.
Finally, establish a “tech timeout;” where all devices are shut off and put away. Spend that time being present and intentional w/ your family, kids or significant other.
Favorite app / website / resource or productivity hack:
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Rachel’s Advice for you to Move Forward:
Write it down! The power of getting it out of your head and onto paper is a powerful practice. Rachel shares these steps:
Buy a journal
Pick a place that represents comfort for you, be it your bed, your favorite couch or under a tree outside your house.
Feel free to light a scented candle.
Play some accompanying music:
If you don’t know what to write, start on page one by writing out the best and worst parts of your day. Start w/ the worst and lead into the best. Always end positively.
As you improve in your journaling, start writing about who you want to be, what you want your life to look like and your 5-year vision.
Connect with Rachel:
Learn more about the Limited to Legendary online course for real estate professionals.